The skepticism about our relationship continued, but we knew we had a plan

In the summer of 2012, we got married. A week after our wedding, my husband had to fly back to Germany to continue working. We had just found out that we could both move and work in Australia, but the paperwork would take time. So, for a little while longer, we had to live on separate continents. Many people would ask me how we kept kissbrides.com haga clic aquГ­ para ver mГЎs such a relationship going. “How do you not get discouraged and just give up?” one friend asked me.

Out of curiosity, I went online to find out if people dated across continents. I found out very quickly that we were not unique; we even have a name! A 2011 article in CNN’s travel section called us “geographical singles”. The world has become more global now and people are traveling around the world for various reasons. Falling in love with someone who lives miles away is not uncommon. So, couples are finding ways to keep relationships going. The advantage of that is that you are in this perpetual honeymoon. Everything is temporary and thus exciting. You want to savor every last second of your time together so everyone is on their best behavior, and every meeting is an adventure.

The disadvantage of these long-distance relationships is that you are on a perpetual honeymoon. You never get to be around each other long enough to be in mundane moments and moods; to not look or feel your best, to have your differences and be able to resolve them in an amicable manner, while still being two different individuals, and this is something that geographical singles should be aware of.

How to Make It Last

If I was to give advice to other geographical singles out there, I would say that it’s very important to know exactly where the relationship is going. Having an end point to when you will no longer be in separate geographical locations helps you to keep going. Without this plan, the relationship faces the danger of fizzling out and dying.

The performance artist ovic is said to have ended a relationship with fellow artist Ulay in the late 80’s with both of them walking on opposite sides of the great wall of China with an agreed meeting point in the middle for one last embrace. While in their case they were saying goodbye, I like to think of long-distance relationships as walking on opposites sides of a great wall with plans to meet in the center but not for a farewell embrace but for a reunion. This keeps you climbing those mountains and weathering bad days. You know there is a goal.

I also like to think that love and respect go hand in hand. It’s important to respect the other person’s time, their investment in the relationship and to give just as much back. If you think your partner is worth fighting for, then you don’t hold back. It’s also important to be flexible. Both parties should be willing to move or relocate. Without flexibility, it’s hard to plan a future.

The Reunion

Today, as I write this, I am sitting in our Sydney apartment with our 8-month-old son in my arms waiting for my husband to come home from work. I left Pittsburgh two years ago and moved to Germany briefly while my husband finished working on projects. Three months later, we bought a one-way ticket to Sydney, Australia.

We started from scratch together and that means we’ve had some highs and lows. We have seen each other at our best and worst. Definitely no blind love here. We both agree that we would do it all again in a heartbeat. People ask us how we made it work. My answer is that we were very honest with each other from the beginning. We knew we wanted to be together, and were both willing to do what it takes.

smahasanullah

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